Thursday, October 22, 2015

Blessings of partial Inclusion

His first date night with his dad :) 2009

I only have my experience in working with the public school education system. In my specific area. 
When I googled time out room I got lots of horrific stories of it being misused. children locked in there for hours, anxiety attacks, hospital transfers. 

Not all school districts I know use a time out room. 

Someone once lamented to me about whether or not it was fair that a child with severe disability who would most definitely not be apart of society in a social way in a worklplace adult environment-should have  a one on one nurse, a one on one aide etc. 

When did it become our societies responsibility to pay for all of these things? they said

It costs so much money and schools already don't have enough. they said

I was not dumbfounded hearing this.
Since my childhood I had overheard differing views of the no child left behind act. 

My response was 
"I am grateful for it. As a society we should be compassionate and loving to individuals whatever their disability. Those parents with children-especially with children-who have 24/7 needs-they deserve to have their children also looked after while at school."

It feels a little like if you don't fit this mold and you only need this much then the school system should not be for you or your child. And that is not only-in my opinion-un christlike-but misses the opportunity for love. 

The parents of kids with special needs-I have met- have been more than willing to go above and beyond for their child. They try to make whatever they can work. 

Not everyone is blessed with the financial means to provide certain care for their children-even when they do make very large sacrifices. 

I am grateful-even if it is very very flawed still-that there is recognition of the worth and of the different challenges  our kids have. 

That schools-in my experience-have been working on being more accommodating. 

One of my blessings is a small group classroom that my child can learn in. 

I realized a year ago after feeling like for so long I was battling uphill for so so so long that I needed to continue to push to find my village. 

That I could not build and help my child just between my husband and I.

I am the foundation for my child and I still help architect for him to help him be the most successful he can be but I need help putting up drywall. 

They say it takes a village to raise a child.
 But really, it takes a loving, caring, educated, compassionate and hard working village to raise a child. 
Which most often involves (as a parent) hand picking who gets to be in it. 

I am in no rush to mainstream my child. 

The most important part for me is not the validation from educators that my child is worth it and belongs in a large class (it will piss me off if  I get that from them, however..) 

but that my child learn in an environment that they can be supported and taught. 

I know my child has been/would be overwhelmed in a large group setting. 

My child is aware enough socially to know when they are the only one with a special behavior chart, that they need to be escorted and have an aide. 

They have struggled to make friends, keep friends, they feel different and unconfident.

I want to teach my child independence and those skills for independence as they are capable of having them. Not limited to black and white grade level curriculum goals. 
Even the Federal government has stated education is social, emotional along with academic

I have been in school and I know the ostracizing affect being in resource can have socially on a child-especially in middle school. 

I am not looking for, or to avoid all uncomfortable or growing situations for my child

but when there IS an option available for partial inclusion 
I will do the Obama fist bump.

I am hoping to teach and nurture each of my children how to function in society. Not to make them pretend to be who they aren't but now to cope with what there is.

Because this means-for me-that my child has gained the skills needed to feel confident and successful with a larger group of peers.

And that is a huge HUZZAH as a parent

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