What do you want?

Peanut butter is delicious. I prefer it crunchy and organic (only because I heard it was less fattening...). If it is to do mixed with chocolate I prefer it in a tiny reese's peanut butter cup.

I believe in God. And just like that miniature peanut butter cup I like it in my own type of dose. I don't mean to say that I am not a very religious person or that I do not believe in organized religion (because I very strongly due) but the older I get. The faster I see my kids growing up. The more strenuous situations I am put in with being a Mother the more I find myself needing that special Reese's peanut butter cup.

Today I went to church and someone quoted someone by saying this "If you want what someone else has then do what they do".

I have said many times before. I don't have a model body or had been born with skinny genes but I also don't work out everyday and eat really healthy foods. This gives me some comfort. It means that I look like this by choice. Although even if I did all those things I wouldn't spring a pair of long legs and full lips.

"If you want what someone else has then do what they do."

This really struck a mommy string in me. I thought to myself "What do I want? What do I admire in people?"

My list can go on together but I think it comes to this. I want the strength that in horrible circumstance I can keep it together and that I can enjoy life to its fullest. I have a great mommy friend with 5 boys. Thats right 5 boys. And to I would suspect many, that seems like an extreme amount but she is one of those people who you could only picture having lots of kids. Its because of how much love she seems to be able to radiate.

Her boys are well behaved and very adventurous for little boys and when you are around them you can sense the joy that is in their home very often.

So today with all the potty training going on. Pushing of wills, crying (no not just from me but from my two tired kids as well), the stained carpet, the broken once manicured toe nail (my last bit of decency!) that quote clicked.

You as a mommy can complain about the family you were raised with. Complain that if I just had "that kid" (the one who sits miraculously and reads a book for an hour) You would be a better parent. That if my spouse who just help out more and smother we more with diamonds and kisses and dates and doting that I would be a better Mother. But the truth is you are a better Mother because you chose to be.

Which means because I want to be like my friend and be better at my chosen occupation then I have to muster up the courage to get er' done. To find what I need to not be so exhausted of this hard season in my life.

There are a lot of things that I want that other have. Some impossible granted (because Harry potter can't actually teach me magic). But I know I have the will to stick it out (proven by my ability to wait in hours of lines just to get a beautiful pair of shoes). I know that I have my peanut butter cup in my pocket comforting me and that other moms out there who are going through the same potty training, ornery kid mess I am that I am.