There is no better way to put your mind in alert or at ease when looking at a photograph.
I've learned that when you are planning on being in a picture you do your hair and make up. That way later on you can make true "I looked so good back then".
It is somewhat horrifying to look back at baby pictures of my kids. Cupcake 3 going on 4 and Buggy his sister 2.
When did they grow up? When did Cupcake decide that boxer briefs were better than briefs? And that the red ones that come in the package must be Buggy's because they are red. After telling me this he then put them in her drawer.
Watching my kids grow helps me forget that I am aging as well. I am that person who looks at a 19 year old and thinks "I'm older than her?" and as a dear friend put it "I looked in the mirror and thought-I look like someone's mom!".
I'm still trying to figure out if teenagers dress more maturely or if I am that lady who wants to shop in the teen section but seeing as my butt doesn't fit in low rise then meanders to a sweater to match my ketchup stained sweats (a sweater with a Winnie the Pooh character on the front of course).
I looked at a picture of myself from the last month. And It was somewhat shocking still 4 years later. And the fact that I am closer to 30 than 20 and my kids are closer to being in school than using the step stool in the bathroom is panicking.
Looking at that picture of Me and the kids I realized how much more they are going to grow. And how much older I am going to get. It also helped me remember about how my job as a mom is to fill my kids with as much love as I can. That my job as a mom is in short to be better than my best self and to continually find joy in it.
Despite my scrutiny at the lines around my eyes, the freckles that no longer fade in the winter, the spider veins growing across my legs and the general feeling of "Gravity wins again", I want to look back at pictures and be able to remember all the gratitude I felt for being able to be apart of two little beings. And that through my stewardship they become responsible citizens of the world.
i know what you mean on all counts! being 30 and now almost 31 has been so weird for me. i bought a skirt the other day at ross. it's bright yellow. and i wondered, am i trying to look too young when i wear this? i don't want to be that woman who looks like she's trying to be a teenager still. i'll send you a photo and you can give your thoughts. love you! let's get together at the end of july when i'm home.
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