Monday, August 24, 2009

Nightmare on Sesame street

I'm hiding in the closet next to the stinky jeans that were hung back up after two weeks worth of wear. It is easy to hold my breath. I listen.

"raaaraaa raaa!"

Its still out there" I think to myself as I prepare my body for absolute obedience. I must not move. Make a sound. And whatever I do I can't let the fear escape my body's pores. They smell fear.

"Ladadaaadadada!!!!" It screams toward the closet door.

"I didn't leave a trail did I?" "It didn't see me go in here did it?" my heart has completely stopped beating because of panic. It must have forgotten how to pump blood because I feel my face go white as the door creeps open.

Ugh its breath reaks of milk and even hidden in the dark next to the dingy jeans I can smell it as its mouth opens again in my direction.

My eyes shut. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening.

It will begin at any time to start eating spiders just like in the exorcism of Emily rose. It will contort its body right in front of me. Scowling and darkening its blue eyes to black and begin showing its teeth.

"One, two three four five six!" It hisses at me. My legs tighten closer together and in the process move a shoe that is on the floor next to me.

"Raaaaa. AHHHH! Uhhhhhhh!"

It finds me with its beady eyes and I immediately slump over. I am exhausted. My brain goes into survival mode. I lay my body in sacrafice in front of it.

I fantasize of the treatment I will receive after its done with me. I'll be hooked up to IV's of caffeine. Surrounded by half empy containers of spray whip cream. Dove chocolates will be taped to my wounds for healing and my pants will be unbuttoned so that all the sweet fluids can expand my body in the right way.

"Caaar", "Caaar" it says in a now more intelligible Boston accent.

I am slimed as it sits on top of me and drools, reading my pained expression of surrender. It rubs its face against my 'As of this morning' clean shirt and I hear the snot pull against the green fabric. "It actually thinks the color will camoflauge, maybe it is a hint of my poor taste in clothing" I think.

"You want to go in the Caaar Andrew?" I say while opening my eyes to him


"Me too....oh dear Andrew I love you and I think we need a vacation".

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