Parenting preschool

Ummm no one told me how much more difficult it would be to have a three year old than two year old. Everyone always talked about the terrible two's. When people see your kid screaming in the grocery store they sometimes would say "Oh terrible twos!" I mostly smile and them and keep walking.

But Heaven help us when they turn 3! This age is so much more challenging for me. You expect more, they understand more and instead of physical exhaustion which has lessened slightly your brain is a bit fried at the end of the day. They actually need real parenting at this point.

Sure when they are little they have so many more temporal needs to be met by you. Feeding, diapering, getting dressed. A two year old can't and I don't think should be expected to remember every rule of the house. No climbing, no screaming inside, no throwing food, no chasing the cat. But by three they definitely know better and you expect them. And then when Heaven Forbid they aren't following the rules discipline comes in.

Discipline. Yuck. This does not come natural to me and maybe that is a good thing. I really don't understand the mom that can smack her kid for anything they do wrong, drop food on floor-spank, hit brother-spank. I just don't get it. I'm all about boundaries but some people don't even seem to be phased by it. I don't know maybe that isn't a bad thing. Either way I am learning that I have a lot of parenting to learn and I have recently been reading some parenting books which further remind me how much more I can grow to become a better parent. Its all a little exhausting.

I want to do the best possible for my kids. Gosh but doing is such a challenge everyday!

For a few months I started thinking "I'm getting the hang of this! I've got it!" Until Cupcake started talking more and more and asking more and more and pushing boundaries more and more as his 4th birthday is coming up I'm realizing that I have a kid now, not a toddler to teach.

I really am baffled at how I missed that this was going to happen. I felt like for a while my parenting skills went sour. That I lost my touch at boundaries, positive reinforcement etc. But I am realizing that you can't teach a two year old the same way you are teaching a pre schooler. Their needs are different and abilities and thought processes are different.

I'm pretty sure this is a reason why people have lots and lots of kids. When you get good at something it is more fun to do it!

So there you go. My new goal

Wrinkle creams

There is no better way to put your mind in alert or at ease when looking at a photograph.
I've learned that when you are planning on being in a picture you do your hair and make up. That way later on you can make true "I looked so good back then".

It is somewhat horrifying to look back at baby pictures of my kids. Cupcake 3 going on 4 and Buggy his sister 2.

When did they grow up? When did Cupcake decide that boxer briefs were better than briefs? And that the red ones that come in the package must be Buggy's because they are red. After telling me this he then put them in her drawer.

Watching my kids grow helps me forget that I am aging as well. I am that person who looks at a 19 year old and thinks "I'm older than her?" and as a dear friend put it "I looked in the mirror and thought-I look like someone's mom!".

I'm still trying to figure out if teenagers dress more maturely or if I am that lady who wants to shop in the teen section but seeing as my butt doesn't fit in low rise then meanders to a sweater to match my ketchup stained sweats (a sweater with a Winnie the Pooh character on the front of course).

I looked at a picture of myself from the last month. And It was somewhat shocking still 4 years later. And the fact that I am closer to 30 than 20 and my kids are closer to being in school than using the step stool in the bathroom is panicking.

Looking at that picture of Me and the kids I realized how much more they are going to grow. And how much older I am going to get. It also helped me remember about how my job as a mom is to fill my kids with as much love as I can. That my job as a mom is in short to be better than my best self and to continually find joy in it.

Despite my scrutiny at the lines around my eyes, the freckles that no longer fade in the winter, the spider veins growing across my legs and the general feeling of "Gravity wins again", I want to look back at pictures and be able to remember all the gratitude I felt for being able to be apart of two little beings. And that through my stewardship they become responsible citizens of the world.